And Now for Some Good News!!

Well Campers, I realize it’s been a while since I send out an update/.  Nothing personal just I’ve been feeling pretty good and taking advantage of it.

I’m walking more and doing short drives around town solo.    A major, major step.  And by pulse rates is coming back in line (after being high) indicating a return to strength.

TV remains the vast wasteland that Newtown Minnow of the FCC called it those many years ago.  Fortunately, my interest in reading has been revved up as I am now able to focus again and have been reading up a storm including a handful of books by Connie Willis, some Carl Hiassen, and many others.  Lots of fun!!!!

Not sure about my definite return to work though it will be within the next few weeks.  I don’t want to wait too long but also don’t want to go back too early and trigger a relapse.  The worst of my fatigue seems to be passed but I don’t want to temp the fates.

I’ve been attending two different support group meetings at the Center for Building Hope and those have been a godsend.  Hopefully, none of you reading this will ever need their services, but if you do, I recommend them highly.

I’ve been entertaining company as I can and my friend Dave was down for a few days from SC last week and we toured the Ringling Circus Museum.  It’s the first time I’ve been there in about 30 years and it was a real blast!!!

Normalcy, or at least some form, looms on the horizon.  It’s not all a bed of roses as Robin Roberts said. “Everybody’s Got Something”.  What’s weird is that I’ve started having the same sore throat and headaches that I experienced a year ago when the disease was forming.  This time, it’s part of the healing process.  As the nerves that were damaged during radiation heal, the pain returns to let you know that they are working, I guess.  But, it’s controllable with oxycontin and ibuprofen.,  But, it’s only a matter of time. .  .

Finally, I want to thank all of you in my support network, legion as you are.  I have the greatest family and friends in the entire world, bar none.  For a kid from the sticks who beat cancer, I am truly blessed.

Peace and love to all!!!

Joe

Progress. . .

Well, Campers, yesterday was one more red-letter day in the parade of progress.  I got my feeding tube removed!!!  Life is good!!


I'm still limited as to what I can eat and will be until my next swallow test in December or so.  But, the cumbersomeness of dealing with the tube is history!!


I am continuing to go to support groups, which are wonderful, and along with what I learn from the doctors, my knowledge of the disease grows by leaps and bounds.  Some of what you learn is interesting, I must add.  I noticed that my neck has swelled up again and I'm experiencing an ear ache and sore throat.  I found out from the nurse practitioner that these are normal parts of the healing process.  After a while, the lymph nodes that were fried during radiation hit their max capacity and they retain fluid - hence the swollen neck.  The soreness is also bark of healing - the nerves that were fried by radiation are beginning to heal.  So, who'd have thunk that there would be pain in healing??  But it sure beats not healing, I suppose!!


And I got to thinking about how cancer does not necessarily define those of us who have had it, but it sure can shape the rest of our lives.  I found out yesterday that depending on how severe the radiation damage was to my throat, there may be things I cannot eat again without danger of aspiration.  The energy level may never come back totally.  And there are and will be other things, I'm sure.  Again, it beats not healing.


Peace and love!!
Joe

Thinking About the Next Steps. . .

Well, Campers, I don't seem to be able to attach pictures to my blog entries anymore, so just imagine my 'In your face' to cancer as a tattoo of the Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers tongue on my upper left arm.


Slowly but surely, I'm still on the mend.  I'm not as tired as I used to be, which is a good thing,   I still get tired, but not the weary-to-the-bone fatigue of a few weeks ago.  And I discontinued my blood pressure medication which has also eased the dizziness I had been feeling as my blood pressure has dropped severely since I lost about 30 pounds.


I'm still not sure about when I will be able to go back to work.  But I have been thinking beyond that.  I figure that I'll work a year or so and retire in my time, not when the disease tells me to.  And then, I want to move onto the next stage of my life which will entail volunteering at Hospice or a cancer center.  I want to share my experiences of the last ten years and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through without as much support as I can help give them.


But, I've learned that things aren't always that easy.  I've been going to more support group meetings, and will continue to do so.  These have been great as far as learning what to expect, sharing other folks' experiences, and learning that, in general, we've all been through the same wringer.  But, there's a wrinkle.  One of the groups includes people who aren't yet cured and may not be.  In other words, these could be the people I'll be dealing with at Hospice.  And, I had my first brush with 'survivor guilt'. 


Yes, I will be dealing with people that are not going to get better, and there will be some guilt involved.  So, my mission is to think about to cope with that.  I will be faced with that question of why was I the lucky one??  I realize that it seems weird that I would consider myself lucky, but comparatively, I am. 


It's not going to prevent me from doing what I eventually do, but it is something to consider.


Wearing out fast!!


Peace and love to all!!!
Joe