That Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Kid Sure Plays a Mean Pinball

 OK, Campers, a wish was fulfilled!!  This past Monday, our daughter Liz packed me up and took me out to play pinball!!  Needless to say, my game wasn't up to my misspent youth, but I didn't embarrass myself, either.  Between the two of us, we won nine free games (we paid for ten) and got a pretty good return on our investment.  Which reminds me. . . When I first started playing the silver ball, it was a nickel a game.  The last time I played, it was up to a quarter.  Now, the toll sits at a dollar a game. . .  No complaints, though.  I had a blast!!

And keeping with the spirit of entertainment, Elaine and I went out last Saturday to see Passerine, one of our favorite local bands.  Since I had my newest portable oxygen tank which operates silently, I was not a nuisance to those patrons nearest us.

It turns out I've been claiming an incorrect disease.  Instead of bronchiolitis, I have bronchiectasis, which in an inflammation of the airways and a buildup of mucous.  This is definitely more in line with what I've got.  Both sound more like the names of dinosaurs. . .

Finally, I'm going to begin pulmonary therapy in a couple of weeks to hopefully get some muscle tone back.  Should be interesting as I am abysmally out of shape.

That's it for now!!

Peace and Love!!
Joe

Thoughts from a Wandering Mind

OK, Campers.  It's a little of this and a little of that. . .

First, thanks for all the kind words for my mother-in-law.  Her passing was not unexpected, but the finality of the actual event is a jolt.  Fortunately, all of her children were in town for her final days.  Elaine is grieving but is at peace, as am I.

Moving on, I've been experiencing what I think is an odd phenomenon in my sleeping patterns, maybe since I'm sleeping so much.  But my dreams will often reference a previous dream.  For instance, a few weeks ago, I dreamt that I was going to build a fence with my brother-in-law Frenchy at the end of his yard.  Then at least twice since then, my dreams have sort of picked up where that one left off.  And since the original dream was so vivid, I began to wonder if it was real.  Of course, that possibility is highly unlikely as I live 1000 miles away, he's 81, and I'm disabled.

And speaking of memories, I recently got an email from my childhood friend Anthony, who still lives in the old hometown.  His message brought back a flood of pleasant memories of that time and place. Now I did not have an ideal childhood, but it was pretty close.  I feel that the 'small town' values instilled then have served me well throughout life.

Finally, I've been reading an anthology of science fiction novellas that my friend Will lent me which includes The Time Machine by H. G. Wells.  That particular story reminded me why 'science' fiction is also known as 'speculative'  fiction.  Many of the stories about a dystopian future are filled with social and political commentary, such the aforementioned Time Machine as well as Fahrenheit 451 and 1984. And though it painted a rosier picture, Edward Bellamy's Looking Backward also falls into the realm of social and political commentary.

Enough for now. I have more reading to do!!

Peace and Love,
Joe

Hearts Are Heavy

Well, Campers, I come with you tonight with a heavy heart.  My 94-year old mother-in-law Norma crossed the great divide yesterday after an amazing struggle.  She hung on as long as she could and all six of her children were in town for her final days.  As my brother-in-law Mark said, she fouled off about 92 pitches before they snuck a curve ball by her.  I only knew her for about seven years and wish it would have been for longer.  But that was long enough to know that she was something special. She will be (and already is) missed.

As for me, I'm holding steady.  As I said, I really don't have a bucket list, but realized that, of all the weird things, I want to play a pinball machine one more time.  I used to be pretty good back in my misspent youth and whiled away many an hour flipping the silver ball.  Our daughter Liz has taken on the challenge of finding a secluded machine in a nearby dive bar where we can play in peace and quiet as I know I will be a spectacle of incompetence and long-gone reflexes.  But it will be fun!!

Along those lines, I was reminded of my son David's final weeks, when, after watching the World Series of Poker endlessly on TV, he decided that he wanted to play Texas Hold 'Em in a real casino one time.  So his friends took him and $100 north to Tampa to the Hard Rock Cafe where his wish was fulfilled.  He started out on a hot streak and doubled his money.  But, as the night wore on, he eventually lost everything.  But he had fun!  🎰

Idle thoughts. . .  I have to say that cancer has changed me in many ways and one has been that, like Blanche DuBois, I have often depended on the kindness of strangers, as well as that of friends and family.  I am no longer too proud to ask for help, even in doing the simplest things, as even those simple things now wear me out.  Taking a shower is an ordeal and it takes me about 15 minutes of rest afterward just to feel almost normal again.  But, this will be my newest normal since my lung disorders are irreversible.  So, even if they stop spreading today, I will still need my walker and oxygen the rest of my life.  But once again, I still have that precious life to cling to so I'm not complaining.  Life is good!!

At that, it's about time to sign off and prepare to watch Jeopardy!!

Peace and Love!!
Joe

Another Long Overdue Update

Well, Campers, it has been way too long. . .  Mea culpa. . .  But here goes. . .

Actually, the major story is not me but my 94-year old mother-in-law who has the kindest heart and gentlest soul you could ever hope to find.  Unfortunately, that heart is about to give out.  On the up side, all six of her children are now or have just been in town to visit (two live locally).  But the world will be a little bit drearier when she's gone.

As for the state of my health, I'm doing pretty good.  As of my last CT scan about three weeks ago, there is no new growth in my lungs and what cancer is there has broken up.  So the regimen of immunotherapy is having a positive effect.  What's more troublesome now are the two ancillary lung diseases - bronchiolitis, which is damage to the air sacs, and pulmonary fibrosis, which is damage to the lining of the lungs.  These are what are contributing to my shortness of breath and subsequent fatigue.  And though the spread of these conditions can be slowed, the damage already done is irreversible.  About two weeks ago, I was given prescriptions for an antibiotic and a steroid, and they seem to be helping as I still get short of breath but recover quicker and some of my aches and pains are gone.  So, I'm doing pretty good for a guy with three potentially terminal diseases!!!

OK, now for some stream-of-consciousness ramblings. . .  Our daughter Liz has moved in with us after relocating from Brooklyn to begin grad school at USF next year.  My son Joey and his girlfriend Tabatha are visiting from Atlanta for a week and brought us a dog.  Due to some pending logistics changes and temperament issues, Elaine and I will be fostering Riot, a Rottweiler/Other mix.  It will be good to have a pet in the house again.

And since I'm on immunotherapy and not full-blown chemo, my hair has grown back.  They say bald is sexy, but when I was bald, I looked like Gandhi. . .  What's sort of weird is that my beard on my neck no longer grows so I can shave in half the time that I used to take.

On the philosophical front, my mother-in-law's ordeals right now remind me of my son David's final days 11 years ago.  Between the two of them, I see both my own past and future.  And, yes, it is just a bit scary.  But, I'll be around for a while longer and will take advantage of and enjoy the time I have.  At my weekly support group, the question often arises of what will we do with the rest of our lives, however long that may be.  For me, it's rather simple.  I really don't have a bucket list and have pretty much accomplished most of what I want to in life,  I just want to keep doing what I've been doing on my forced retirement - reading, web surfing, and working puzzles.  I am a simple man with simple desires.  And I enjoy getting visitors since I don't get out much - gives me the chance to keep up with what's going on in the outside world and to enjoy it vicariously.  Oh, I'll go to Wednesday night team trivia challenge as long as I draw breath!!

OK, Jeopardy is on, so it's time to sign off for now.  I should be going back to Moffitt next week for treatment, so will craft my next update after that.

Peace and Love to All!!
Joe