Hearts Are Heavy

Well, Campers, I come with you tonight with a heavy heart.  My 94-year old mother-in-law Norma crossed the great divide yesterday after an amazing struggle.  She hung on as long as she could and all six of her children were in town for her final days.  As my brother-in-law Mark said, she fouled off about 92 pitches before they snuck a curve ball by her.  I only knew her for about seven years and wish it would have been for longer.  But that was long enough to know that she was something special. She will be (and already is) missed.

As for me, I'm holding steady.  As I said, I really don't have a bucket list, but realized that, of all the weird things, I want to play a pinball machine one more time.  I used to be pretty good back in my misspent youth and whiled away many an hour flipping the silver ball.  Our daughter Liz has taken on the challenge of finding a secluded machine in a nearby dive bar where we can play in peace and quiet as I know I will be a spectacle of incompetence and long-gone reflexes.  But it will be fun!!

Along those lines, I was reminded of my son David's final weeks, when, after watching the World Series of Poker endlessly on TV, he decided that he wanted to play Texas Hold 'Em in a real casino one time.  So his friends took him and $100 north to Tampa to the Hard Rock Cafe where his wish was fulfilled.  He started out on a hot streak and doubled his money.  But, as the night wore on, he eventually lost everything.  But he had fun!  🎰

Idle thoughts. . .  I have to say that cancer has changed me in many ways and one has been that, like Blanche DuBois, I have often depended on the kindness of strangers, as well as that of friends and family.  I am no longer too proud to ask for help, even in doing the simplest things, as even those simple things now wear me out.  Taking a shower is an ordeal and it takes me about 15 minutes of rest afterward just to feel almost normal again.  But, this will be my newest normal since my lung disorders are irreversible.  So, even if they stop spreading today, I will still need my walker and oxygen the rest of my life.  But once again, I still have that precious life to cling to so I'm not complaining.  Life is good!!

At that, it's about time to sign off and prepare to watch Jeopardy!!

Peace and Love!!
Joe