Life and Death

OK, Campers. . .  We get a little serious today.

But before that, in a follow-up to yesterday's post, one of my eating dilemmas is on the way to being solved.  Elaine has taken the cat by the whiskers and said she will prepare enough semi-solid foods for me to do away with one Boost per day.  So far, so good - I was able to eat some scrambled eggs and oatmeal with no problems.  Life is good!!

But, to the topic at hand. . .  Ten years ago, when I went through my son David's ordeal, knowing he was terminal, I began to face my own mortality.  And, in my infinite hubris, thought I had it figured out.  I was not going to welcome death nor face it with open arms, but I felt that I could face it with no fears.

Fast forward to the present. . .  As I've said many times on these pages, when YOU are the afflicted one, everything changes.  Now, I was fortunate this time around in knowing within a couple of weeks of diagnosis that my survival chances are over 90%.  Up until then, I was basing things on the Internet, which but me at about 57%.  (Since that point, I have mostly avoided looking up anything online - there is some good information but also a lot of not so good stuff that can and will make you crazy.)  So, I really never spent a lot of time dwelling on preparing for the great beyond, but I did spend some time doing just that.  And, I found that whole 'death be not proud' horse hockey just that.  Frankly, I was scared you-know-what-less.  Now, I know that had my prognosis been less rosy, I would have come to grips.  As you've heard me say before, you don't know what you can handle until you have to, and then you surprise yourself.  But, fortunately for me, that is a different story for a different day.

But I have noticed many changes in how I see things.  I don't know if they will last, but we shall see.  I've never been a real fan of violence in any form, but my tolerance to violence on TV has really become lower.  There are movies that I've seen before that I know I cannot watch now, as they will deeply disturb me.  And I can't help but notice how many TV ads there are for disease, drugs, and cancer centers.  I am much more aware of death and violence in the news.  I am more aware of sports injuries.  Anything with the 'c' word catches my attention.  Things of that nature.  I suppose the easy solution is to stop watching the damn TV. . .

Anyway, bottom line, and I'm sure I'm tweaking something previously said by Woody Allen, contemplating you own death is not something you can do cavalierly and/or objectively.

Peace and love to all!!!
Joe