The Wall of Victory!!

Keep those cards and letters coming!!

Just one more thought. . .   Way back when, I probably re-iterated something I learned when I went through this with David those ten years ago.  I've said, and keep telling people, that the actions of others will surprise you, and it goes both ways.  People that you never expected to hear from step up in ways you may have never imagined;  conversely, people you expect to be there are absent.

And, as is often the case, I find now that the truth is firmly somewhere in the middle.  Again, as has been the case, my current condition is mellowing my thinking.  What I'm learning is that cancer, or any life-threatening disease, in a family truly does change the way you see lots of things.  And, in many cases, I'm finding that even people who's thoughts and prayers are with you every step of the way will not talk about it, nor will they step up and offer well-wishes or to do something, not because they don't want to, but because it reminds them too much of their own memories, or their fears if they have not yet had first-hand experience.  To say it simply, your situation makes them uncomfortable, and like many of us in that situation, they shut down to you.  Now, I would bet that many of those folks would do anything you asked, if you asked.  But they will not take that first step.

And that is understandable.  I know, and others have noticed this too, that there have been cases that I have been introduced to folks that have lost a child or have one who has been afflicted with a potentially fatal condition.  I would typically make the offer that they can talk to me anytime.  In many cases, people thank me and then kind of move away on the Group W Bench as I have branded myself as a pariah,  Especially if their child is still alive.  And, after a while, I began to understand.  They don't know where I'm going to go.  They don't care to find out if my message is positive or not.  All they know is that my story didn't end well and that's not want they want to be talking about.  And I can appreciate that.  Like I say, this second go-round is filling in the learning process that began with David.  Hopefully, there will be no more of these dreaded and feared learning experiences

Peace and love to you all!!!!!
Joe